As a single man I thought it would be a good idea to write an article with a brief outline of what dating, romance and love can be like in this beautiful country called Mexico. A lot of you have read, or are familiar with the book “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”. Just like the books basic premise is that men and women think differently then so it is with how Western style romance is approached differently than romance in Mexico.
The first thing that comes to mind is money. A Mexican woman expects you to “take care of her”. A woman with children and whose parents are alive may also need financial help from you to care for here extended family. But that’s getting a little too far ahead. That will come at date #3. OK, that’s an exaggeration, just a little. A Mexican man will always be expected to pay for everything, the meal, transportation and so on. Sometimes your date will show up with friends, yes you pay for everyone. This gives the man an opportunity to flex his power and machismo. My Western wallet and mentality does not agree with this. I do it.. but I still have a hard time understanding why I pay for everything. A male friend of mine who lives in Mazatlan was very sad and a little angry when his Mexican girlfriend of 6 months and aged about 52 years old informed him that he would have to pay for their house rental, food, clothes.. everything!! He was perplexed because his girlfriend was 52, had a good business going and lived alone and so she was already able to pay for her own life. This is the way love works here in Mexico. Deal with it.
There are 2 things at play here with my friends situation. His ability to pay for his girlfriends life with him and his willingness to pay for her. This may end up with a resentful husband or boyfriend who is spending all of HIS money and the girl is SAVING here money.. often helping her family with their own finances.
Need info on Gringas dating a Mexican man? Well, honestly I have few data points except those of two friends of mine who are (trying) to date such a man and had a hard time getting the Western “dating” concept across to their boyfriends.
Public displays of affection here are over the top. In my local plaza young couples, as young as middle school, are often kissing, hugging and holding hands. People here are very affectionate and very open about it. Family is #1 in this culture and so you may find yourself taking a back seat to your wife’s/husbands parents or siblings. Their family needs always come first.
I was married twice with Europeans… I know other cultures, too, so I know what you mean. But the other part is missing…. what men expect from a woman here in Mexico.
Things changed, nevertheless. So I honestly believe there’s no rule anymore, and each couple decides on matters like these, very differently for each. One thing I must say… if you invite very generously and out of courtesy (that’s how it’s really seen nowadays), a woman that brings friends or family along, and expects you to pay for them too, is being very abusive!
Have the best time in paradise
I know a man that lives in PV, Chiropractor, great job, married a woman from Mexico. Bought property, built a huge Ranch, she took everything and kicked him out. Law is she can get it all. No Bueno!
That story that Poppi told, I’ve heard it too, many times, but exactly the other way around, where mexican women were cheated and deceited by foreign guys. I honestly think there are bad guys and gals, and good people, everywhere in the world.